- At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing
cars to see if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Insist that your e mail address is Xenafirstname.lastname@example.org
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favours.'
- Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire
work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
- Dont use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your
boss is the opposite gender.)
- Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For
example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
- Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
- Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your
lives, they're loose!".
- Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your
head that do".
- Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of
- Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here".